Want To Get Lucky? Don't Buy These Cars, Pontiac Aztek to Toyota Prius

James Raia

aztekAs part of the Sporting News Network, a guy using the logo “Tennessee & Random Crap,” has compiled a clever list of his 10-top cars in a very specific category. It’s not sexiest car list, more powerful list, most expensive list, most “green” list or any list that warrants passionate attention. Instead, the list is all about a lack of passion, so to speak.

This top-10 list is a dubious, but practical list of “Top 10 cars, guaranteed to ensure your family line ends with you.”

The writer, Vol85, begins with the premise: “I was recently in Knoxville (recently being about six hours ago), and I saw a bunch of Pontiac Azteks at used car lots there. I was thinking, ‘No wonder. Who would want to ruin their life by being seen in one?’ So, the idea for this list was born.”

“ . . . These are the cars that say, ‘Nobody in the history of mankind, has had a bulge big enough to compensate for this loser-mobile.”

(Comments in quotes are the original author’s remarks.)

10. Mazda 5 —  “it’s like a minivan whose mother smoked while she was pregnant. It just never grew up. It’s like a dwarf minivan.”

9. Toyota Yaris Sedan —  “Toyota has a knack for creating some of the wussiest cars ever.”

8. Honda Insight —  “you’re going to have to drive a long way to find a female who’ll give you the time of day…or anything else.”

7. Plymouth Colt Vista —  “If you have one of these, just kill yourself now.”

6. Chevy Lumina APV — Pretty much any minivan will end your sex-life, but the Lumina has a better-than-average ability to kill any libido.”

5. Pontiac Aztek (See above text and the corresponding image.)

4. Toyota Previa —  “While minivans across-the-board, will kill any single-person’s chance of an encounter with the opposite gender, the Previa will even prevent copulation with one’s spouse.”

3. Toyota Prius (1st generation)

2. Geo Metro Hatchback

1. Toyota Echo

To read the full blog and the comments for the top-three ‘worst’ cars, visit the blog: Tennesse & Other Random Crap

Article Last Updated: June 26, 2008.

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