aztekAs part of the Sporting News Network, a guy using the logo โ€œTennessee & Random Crap,โ€ has compiled a clever list of his 10-top cars in a very specific category. Itโ€™s not sexiest car list, more powerful list, most expensive list, most โ€œgreenโ€ list or any list that warrants passionate attention. Instead, the list is all about a lack of passion, so to speak.

This top-10 list is a dubious, but practical list of โ€œTop 10 cars, guaranteed to ensure your family line ends with you.โ€

The writer, Vol85, begins with the premise: โ€œI was recently in Knoxville (recently being about six hours ago), and I saw a bunch of Pontiac Azteks at used car lots there. I was thinking, โ€˜No wonder. Who would want to ruin their life by being seen in one?โ€™ So, the idea for this list was born.โ€

โ€œ . . . These are the cars that say, โ€˜Nobody in the history of mankind, has had a bulge big enough to compensate for this loser-mobile.โ€

(Comments in quotes are the original authorโ€™s remarks.)

10. Mazda 5 โ€”ย  โ€œit’s like a minivan whose mother smoked while she was pregnant. It just never grew up. It’s like a dwarf minivan.โ€

9. Toyota Yaris Sedan โ€”ย  โ€œToyota has a knack for creating some of the wussiest cars ever.โ€

8. Honda Insight โ€”ย  โ€œyou’re going to have to drive a long way to find a female who’ll give you the time of day…or anything else.โ€

7. Plymouth Colt Vista โ€”ย  โ€œIf you have one of these, just kill yourself now.โ€

6. Chevy Lumina APV โ€” Pretty much any minivan will end your sex-life, but the Lumina has a better-than-average ability to kill any libido.โ€

5. Pontiac Aztek (See above text and the corresponding image.)

4. Toyota Previa โ€”ย  โ€œWhile minivans across-the-board, will kill any single-person’s chance of an encounter with the opposite gender, the Previa will even prevent copulation with one’s spouse.โ€

3. Toyota Prius (1st generation)

2. Geo Metro Hatchback

1. Toyota Echo

To read the full blog and the comments for the top-three ‘worst’ cars, visit the blog: Tennesse & Other Random Crap

Article Last Updated: June 26, 2008.

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